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This is my story, every bit of it true, except the parts where I lie. Somewhere around Barstow, cosmopolitan supply depleted, I realized that I was not on my way to Mexico, and I was in dire need of something to ease the pain of a complete and utter absence of potato tacos. Finding myself wandering the aisles of the local drugstore, looking for solace amongst the bubble bath and level 3 pharmaceuticals I noticed a strange cross-eyed guy following me with a video camera. Well someone had to mix the drinks in the back of the firebird. So a week later spooky and I found ourselves in Pioneer Square, in the heart of downtown Portland, OR.